yep, fuck it! i'm done. i don't care who the next president is because THEY have succeeded in creating one more Apathethic American...the main goal of the government. well, not sooo Apathetic that i won't vote. i'll vote. my vote will count as much as shit-on-stick (which can be very useful in thwarting evil-doing patrons) but why not? it'll be a night out AND i can taunt the fucking Dumb-o-crats with "Hillary 2012!" and "No Hillary, No Vote". aaahhh, the Kennedy's. screwing women since, since...um...just how old IS this planet?
1 billion years? unless you're a bible thumper, of course. then the earth would be about 6,000 years old because, well, God apparently has ADD and could not possible create and sustain anything older than a blink...no, a half...no, a quarter...no, an eighth of a blink old. poor God...somebody get him some RITALIN!
speaking of the big G: he IS getting a little long-in-the-tooth. maybe it's time for something new. listen, when was the last time Satan started a war, eh? He's not blowin' up building, God-lovers are. all in the name of God. die, sacrifice, make war, bind women, kill the killers, eat your veggies, CONFESS and then CONFESS somemore! don't do that and rot in hell...so, cut out the Middle Man and go right for the goat. i'm NOT advocating, just pondering. ponder, ponder, ponder.
BRING IN THE GOATS!!!!
okay...enough. let us now talk about Alan Hale. "Who is this Alan Hale", you ask. what! are you retarded? how could you not know The Skipper!!?? Gilligan's Island! have we not all seen every freakin' episode 44 times already? YOU haven't? well, what the FUCK have you been doing with your life? LIVING?
Alan Hale spoke with me. on the phone. yeah, i know he's dead but they somehow find ways to speak to me. the dead. they. do. weird. apparently Alan Hale is still jovial and convivial on the Otherside although he is in some sort of actors rest home. he told me Fred Astaire and another dancer (not Ginger Rogers) live a couple doors down from him. he talked about some stuff he missed, told me to tell his family he loves them and continued talking until it finally dawned on me that i should try to make conversation and ask a question. so brain dead me asked him if he had any regrets making The Giant Spider Invasion even after MSK3000 got ahold of it and he was a little perplexed but continued on happily telling me that he had no regrets and it wasn't so bad, really. he was a VERY happy guy. unfortunately, i had to cut the dream short because one of the cats in my dream (also deceased) started to bleed from the rectum. Mr Pinky was bleeding from the rectum. so, i panicked and told Mr Hale that i had to get off the phone because a dead cat was bleeding from his anus and i had to get him to a vet, FAST! this took a few minutes as Mr Hale (quite understandably) could not wrap his dead head around what i was screaming into the phone. "Mr Pinky's bleeding! i have to go! no, Mr Pinky is a CAT and he's bleeding. from his rectum! no, it's RECTAL BLEEDING! sorry, i have to go now! call me back later and bring Bob Denver!!!"
shit. i freaked out The Skipper!
PS: i hate misspelling words. if i have misspelled any words, please correct me.
PPS: misspelled is spelled correctly. i checked.
